Your family is gathered for Thanksgiving. The usual mix of relatives is there, and not everyone gets along. After a couple of hours, nerves begin to fray and tempers start flying. What is there to do? Family run-ins during the feast are almost as traditional as the turkey! This year, try practicing the Lean Fundamentals–and I don’t mean eating less!
The two Lean fundamentals are respect for people and humility. Respect for people is more than just using your manners. In the workplace, it’s about valuing individuals and their knowledge about how the process actually works, coaching others to develop their problem-solving skills, and solving problems by focusing on the process, not the people. Humility comes when you admit that you don’t know how to solve every problem. This drives you to seek out the ideas of all the people involved in doing the work. Together these fundamentals create a blame-free environment where continuous improvement is the norm.
Now, think about how your relationships might shift if you apply these fundamentals around the turkey table. Instead of challenging your know-it-all cousins on everything they say, you can simply ask them about their expertise, learning more by using phrases that begin with What, How, and Tell me more. Instead of criticizing the meal planners for forgetting the cranberry sauce or burning the pie, you can ask them about what happened that caused the problems and coach them on finding solutions for next year. You get the idea. Changing how you approach the family gathering can alter the entire dynamic. Give it a try!
Do you look forward to Thanksgiving with mixed feelings? Please share with us how you think Lean could improve your Thanksgiving experience.
This is a great reminder to use probing questions as a strategy when faced with groups or individuals who have opposing views. I will be facing a Thanksgiving dinner table with very close friends from opposite ends of the political spectrum. I’m hoping everyone will stay politely away from politics, but if it comes up this blog has reminded me to ask questions to help everyone learn more about their specific belief rather than challenging their position. Very timely article. Thank you.